The next evolution of bacon – new product alert
Three years ago, we made a much healthier bacon delivery mechanism called Bacon Salt. It’s a zero calorie, zero fat, vegetarian, kosher and low sodium seasoning that makes everything taste like bacon –to many, it was Bacon 2.0.
Since then, our team of research scientists has been working hard on making the next leap to Bacon 3.0. We started with an intense brainstorming and ideation session with some of the foremost minds in science, technology, nutrition, sports, marketing and the arts. The questions during this all-day session were open-ended and thought-provoking, such as:
- How can we use bacon to help people lead healthier lives?
- Why is bacon so delicious?
- How can bacon be used to promote world peace?
- Can bacon be used as an alternative fuel source?
- What if bacon was lighter than air?
It was that last question that got the dialogue really going and led to another seemingly ridiculous question – what if bacon was air? After all, oxygen is the most important nutrient to the cells in your body, and plays an integral role in almost every bodily function. And bacon is the most delicious of meats.
Was combining these two elements possible or even advisable? Fortunately, the answer was yes on both counts. Studies have shown that inhaling pure oxygen can boost energy, fight disease, increase mental focus, enhance sexual and/or sports performance, and increase mental alertness as well as save lives. After all, you can live for weeks without food or days without water, but only a few minutes without oxygen.
After 2 grueling years of research, we are proud to announce the next quantum leap in bacon technology. We call it BaconAir™, and it’s a revolutionary new product that combines the deliciousness of bacon with the unrivaled health benefits of 95% pure Himalayan oxygen. Some of the benefits include:
- Convenient and Easy to Use
- Bacon Enters Bloodstream in Seconds
- No Negative Pork Side Effects
- No Calories, Fat or Stimulants
- Non-Prescription ~ Recreational Use Only
- Maximum Deliciousness
Hungry for bacon but don’t want the calories? Try BaconAir! Competing in a sporting event or spelling bee? Try BaconAir! Vacuuming the house? Try BaconAir! Taking a test? Try BaconAir! Driving a race car or semi-truck? Try BaconAir. If you want to run faster, jump higher or memorize long sequences of numbers – try BaconAir!
We are still waiting for our first shipment of bacon-flavored Himalayan oxygen, but for now you can put your name on the waiting list here. We have very limited quantities and a big demand already, so we suggest you act fast. We’re also holding a contest for a free lifetime supply of BaconAir once it’s ready to ship. Just send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org with why you think you should receive the first bottles of BaconAir and we’ll select a winner.
Waiver: Recreational bacon-flavored oxygen is not for medical use and is not intended to treat, cure or prevent any diseases. It should not be used if you have asthma, lung or heart ailments or allergies to intensely delicious bacon flavorings. Always consult your physician before taking any supplement products. The statements and representations on this website have not been evaluated or approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or the National Pork Board.