It is with great sadness that we inform you that the FDA has pulled the plug on our plans to launch Bacon Baby Infant Formula. While there is certainly compelling research out there that shows that increased bacon intake among infants could lead to increased intelligence, athleticism, and (perhaps) superpowers, they wouldn't let us put it on the package, and were kind of jerks about it to be perfectly honest.
Thank you to all of you who wrote us to tell us why your babies should receive a lifetime supply of Bacon Baby. Your stories, ultrasound pictures and desires to "raise the next Einstein or at least Stalin" were quite entertaining to us. This was all in fun and it was good to see people laugh with us instead of at us for once.
We would, however, like to apologize to members of the media who thought this was a real story. This included parenting magazines, a major news service and one very embarrassed reporter who called us asking for a comment for a childhood obesity story she was working on for a major network. We will work hard to regain your trust - and then will likely destroy that trust again next April.
Yours in bacon,
Justin & Dave